Alternians at Aperture
by ByakurenBreak
Summary: Wheatley has finally decided to murder Chell after she has finished a final test. However 12 grey-skinned heroes with horns have come to save the day. Chelley, Karezi, EqAr, EriSol, and, what a surprise, GamDOS! Rated T for Foul Language.
1. Testing the Trolls

**Testing the Trolls**

**Before you get started on reading, let's just say that this stupid idea popped into my head and it seems terribly written. So don't judge me, I'm already doing it to myself. Wheatley and GLaDOS are humanized, and Fanfiction ruins typing quirks. Cool beans? Cool beans. Let's go.**

* * *

This was most likely the final test Chell had to do before Wheatley decided that he was ready to kill her. For the first time in a long time, she was scared. Being killed by the only one who had cared about her was an awful thought.

She shook her head and continued the test. There was no wasting time, unless if she wanted Wheatley to get mad, which she didn't.

Suddenly she stopped her tracks when she heard a voice call out her name.

"Oh Cheeeeeeeell... GLaDOOOOOOOOS..."

GLaDOS groaned. "Oh no, I think that a turret somehow figured out our names."

Suddenly, not one, not two, but twelve people opened a random door into the room where the test was. They all had grey skin, black hair, a different style of horns and their shirts had a certain zodiac signs on them. Their eyes had a yellow hue, with black pupils.

"Excuse Me, But What Are Turrets, Exactly? That Is Certainly Not What Our Species Is Called." The green Virgo spoke with curiosity in her tone.

"Then what are you, humans?" GLaDOS growled.

"IF YOU THINK WE'RE HUMANS, THEN YOU MUST BE A FUCKING IDIOT. DO WE LOOK LIKE HUMANS TO YOU?!" The light grey Cancer yelled, and then he facepalmed.

The teal Libra spoke up. "OH COM3 ON, K4RKL3S! TH3Y H4V3NT M3T US B3FOR3. G1V3 TH3M 4 BR34K."

":33 ac agrees with Terezi, her ears purrking up and down!" The light green Leo giggled. "We're trolls!"

"ThIs PlAcE iS mOtHeRfUcKiNg TrIpPeD uP, yO." The purple Capricorn mused, a stoned expression with a goofy grin was plastered on his face.

"mY THOUGHTS, uH, EXACTLY." The orangish-brown Taurus sighed. "uH, WHERE ARE WE?"

The yellow Gemini adjusted his glasses. "ii dont know, but thii2 place ii2 better than what ii expected."

The magenta Aquarius frowned and shook his head. "wwell, speak for yourself, sol. there's no wwater anywwhere. this must be somefin only land dwwellers can be."

The pink Pisces smiled. "O)( Eridan, dont be suc)( a wimp, it's going to be just FIN-E!"

"D- yes. Sea dwellers such as yourselves can handle something e%tremely preposterous as this condition. After all, you are highb100ds." The indigo Saggitarious replied.

The red Aries scratched her head. "I sh0uld ask you, Vriska. What are we even here f0r?"

The blue Scorpio smirked. "This human needs help. Her m8sprit 8etrayed her and they 8ecame kismesis, which got her old enemy has 8ecome her moirail We must fight for these two!"

Matesprit? Kismesis? Moirail? What did those even mean?

GLaDOS rolled her eyes. "How are we even supposed to know what those are supposed to be?"

":33 ac begins to explain this in a matter that the human and other purrson will understand!"

"I'm an AI."

":33 whatever. Matesprit: someone you love. Kismesis: someone that you hate, yet you can't be alive without them. Moirail: your very best friend in the entire universe!"

GLaDOS began to stutter. "But we're not moirails, as you say. We're only allies. Don't judge us so quickly, we don't even know your names."

"WELL, SINCE I'M THE LEADER, I WILL INTRODUCE ALL OF US." Karkat boasted. "I AM KARKAT VANTAS, THIS IS TEREZI PYROPE, NEPETA LEGION, EQUIUS ZAHHAK, ARADIA MEGIDO, KANAYA MARYAM, GAMZEE MAKARA, ERIDAN AMPORA, FEFERI PEIXES, VRISKA SERKET, AND TAVROS NITRAM."

GLaDOS crossed her arms. "And how did you know our names?"

"1 C4N T3LL YOU. 1TS T1M3 TR4V3L SH3N4N1GANS." Terezi said, sticking out her slightly teal tongue out.

"'Ello? What's the holdup down there?! Finish the bloody test, already! Unless if you're dead, which..." Wheatley's voice called over the loudspeaker.

Karkat groaned. "WHO'S THAT ASSHOLE?"

GLaDOS sighed. "That's Wheatley. He's in control of the facility as of right now."

"D- and it is supposed to be you?"

"Yes."

Meanwhile, Nepeta had wandered off in the testing area. ":33 ac wonders what would happen if this purrious box were to be placed on this button." She mumbled to herself, placing the cube on the button."

"Ohhh, yes, that was good! The test is complete. Now, get up here."

"NEPETA?"

":33 what? did I do something?"

"You completed a test, and you aren't even a test subject."

":33 I think that's a good thing. How do we get up to where this Wheatley guy is?"

Chell pointed to the elevator.

"There? C8n we all fit in there?" Vriska asked.

"wELL, uH, WE KIND OF HAVE TO." Tavros replied.

GLaDOS sighed. "Aperture technology should be able to lift a generous weight."

"W3LL WH4T 4R3 W3 W41T1NG FOR? L3TS G3T TH4T FUCK4SS TO B3COM3 CH3LL'S M4T3SPR1T 4G41N!" Terezi cheered.

They all got into the elevator and went up. Chell wondered if Wheatley would be expecting such a surprise like this.

* * *

**Okay, so how did the trolls get into Aperture? Just use your imagination.**


	2. The Battle

12 Trolls, one test subject and a white haired girl with a armband that said "Potato" on it* were all riding the elevator up to Wheatley's lair. Even Karkat was quite nervous about this, since Wheatley seemed like the most moronic fuckass he would have ever met. "Fatty Fatty - No Parents?" That was low, even for the trolls standards.

The elevator came to a stop when they finally reached the main floor of the facility. Sure enough, he was sitting on a chassis, rubbing his hands. He smirked when he saw Chell and GLaDOS. Oh Chell... She was so small and vulnerable - she would never stand a chance against someone who was incredibly massive.

"Well, well, well. Welcome to my la- what the?!" He stopped in his tracks when he saw the trolls step out. Vriska smirked back. "Well, well, well. Welcome to the terrible truth that you will 8e defeated 8y your own m8sprit!"

"Matesprit? That's not even in the dictionary! How am I supposed to know what that is?" Wheatley snarled, clenching his fists. "You may outnumber me, but I still have more power!"

"EXCUSE ME, FUCKASS, BUT SHUT THE HELL UP!" Karkat yelled. "DON'T UNDERESTIMATE US LIKE THAT. WE HAVE MORE THAN WHAT YOU CAN IMAGINE."

"Yeah. You at least havve had one before, Wwheatley. You should be glubbin lucky to havve Chell." Eridan replied in the same tone.

"Chell? That's lady's name? Too bad it won't matter once I kill all of you."

Feferi scowled. "If my lusus was even )(ere, t)(en s)(e would SO kill you, insufferable prick!"

Sollux groaned. "FF, then that would kiill the re2t of u2."

"-EXACTLY! )(e should thank god s)(e isn't here!"

Wheatley narrowed his eyes. "This is bloody confusing. Who are all of you and why are you here?"

"That answer sh0uld be 0bvi0us" Aradia sighed. GLaDOS groaned. "Aradia, don't even try explaining anything to this moron. He wouldn't get it."

Wheatley clutched his fist. "Why you bastards! You're going to ruin everything!"

"BuT iF aNyThInG, bRoThEr, YoU'rE tHe OnE wHo MoThErFuCkInG rUiNeD eVeRyThInG, hOnK :o)" Gamzee replied.

"How?! I did everything! Lady was selfish, and sacrificed nothing!"

"SHE OBVIOUSLY CARED ABOUT YOU, FUCKASS!" Karkat yelled, pointing at Chell, who was running towards a corrupted core to place on Wheatley's chassis.

"So? Why should I care? I won't go down without a fight!"

Karkat's urge to punch Wheatley in the face was strong. very...very...

"D - STRONG PUNCH!"

Even though Equius had superhuman strength, his fist had only made a painful looking dent in the side of the chassis.

"AUGH, BLOODY HELL, MATE!"

The punch had distracted Wheatley when Chell attached Space Core onto him.

"Warning. Core corruption at 50%."

Nepeta flashed Equius and Chell a thumbs up, and began to sneak up from behind Wheatley. ":33 ac prepares to leap on the scary purrson, her claws sharpened to an extreme level. Thr33, two, one, MEOW!" She pounced onto Wheatley's head, scratching a bit. "What the hell?!" He seethed as he threw her off of him.

"1 M4Y B3 BL1ND, BUT 1 D3M4ND JUST1C3 1N TH1S COURT!" Terezi yelled, charging towards him. Wheatley was ready to attack. He fired rockets at the Libra, yet she dodged every single one. Wheatley just stared at her, confused at how it was even possible. Terezi laughed. "1 FORGOT TO T3LL YOU TH4T 1 SM3LL THOS3 CH3RRY - L1K3 BOMBS COM1NG."

"Smell?! What? How is that even possible?"

Just then, Eridan popped up next to Terezi. "Magic!"

"magiic doe2nt exii2t, fi2hbreath." Sollux retorted.

"Science!"

"OH SHUT UP ALREADY!"

"Would It Damage The Equipment If I Used My Chainsaw To Rip That Core Off The Chassis?" Kanaya calmly asked GLaDOS, who had just helped Chell attatch another core onto Wheatley.

"As much fun as it sounds, it would damage it quite badly. The sweaty one had ruined it enough."

"Warning. Core corruption at 75%."

"yOU HAVE, uH, oNE MORE CHANCE TO KNOCK THIS OFF RIGHT NOW, wHEATLEY." Tavros warned, clenching his fist.

"Toreadork, threatening him won't do anything! 8esides, that was a pretty weak attempt."

Wheatley chuckled. "The spider girl is right. And I've had enough of all of your shenanigans!"

"HeY, yOu MoThErFuCkInG sTaRtEd It BrO. cHeLl iS a MiRaClE, i TeLl YoU." Gamzee mused.

"Yes, speaking of which, plug me in over there so I can get back into my body!"

"Warning. Core corruption at 100%. Manual core replacement required."

"Oh, I see." Wheatley growled.

"Substitute core, are you ready to start…?"

"Yes come on!" Came the impatient voice of GLaDOS.

"Corrupted core, are you ready to start?" Continued the announcer.

"What'd you think?" said Wheatley in a sarcastic voice, rolling his eyes.

"Interpreting vague answer as yes…"

"No! No! NONONO!" Wheatley said in a panicked voice.

Vriska grinned. "Yes. Hell yes. Hell fucking yes! All that's left to do is press the stalem8te 8utton!"

Terezi immediately perked up. "YOU M34N 1F YOU PR3SS TH3 BUTTON, YOU G3T 4 SC4L3M4T3?"

"NO, FUCKASS, STALEMATE!"

Wheatley was beginning to sweat. "Whatever, just don't press it! I FORBID you from pressing it!"

* * *

*** what my headcannon of Human! POTaDOS would look like.**


	3. Forgiveness in Jegus's Name

Chell jumped through the portal, running towards the Stalemate button. She pressed it before anyone could stop her. A wave of pain coursed through her body as she was thrown back. "PART FIVE! BOOBY TRAP THE STALEMATE BUTTON!" Wheatley yelled with triumph. However, Eridan had caught Chell just in time before she hit the ground. When the magenta sea-dweller placed her down, Chell got on her feet and picked up the portal gun.

"What? Are you STILL alive? You're kidding! You MUST be joking!" Wheatley retorted, a little of fear was in his eyes. "Well, I'm still in control. AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIX THIS PLACE!" All the trolls looked down in defeat.

"I guess 8lue isn't a smart color after all."

"TH1S C4NT B3 H4PP3N1NG…"

"W)(hy did this )(ave to be POSSIBL-E?"

"II can't beliieve thii2…"

"Well, there g0es all 0f 0ur hard w0rk…"

"Oh mAn aRe wE MoThErFuCkInG ScReWeD, bRoThErS." Gamzee groaned, frantically licking Sopor from the metal pie tray.

Karkat narrowed his eyes. "WE CAN'T GIVE UP YET. WE ARE NOT LOSING TO THIS FUCKASS."

Wheatley ignored Karkat, and kept aiming the insults at Chell. "You had to play bloody cat and mouse, didn't you? While people were trying to work. Yes, well, now we're all going to pay the price. BECAUSE WE'RE ALL GOING TO BLOODY DIE."

": 33 ac's ears purrk up at 'cat' and 'mouse'! Tell me where it is or else I'll scratch you again!" Nepeta hissed.

"It was a bloody figure of speech, you blasted feline abomination!" Wheatley screamed, and caught Chell deep in thought, looking at the moon. "Oh, brilliant, yeah. Take one more look at your precious human moon. Because it cannot help you now!"

Chell sighed, and dropped the Portal gun on the ground and began running towards where Wheatley was. "It's about time you gave up luv….huh?!"

What was she doing?

As a tear dripped down her cheek, Chell wrapped her arms around him, her face burying in his chest, unwilling to let go. Wheatley was obviously shocked.

"…Lady…" Tears began to well up in his eyes, and held Chell close in his arms. "It's all my fault. I broke our both our friendship, and Matespritship. I tried to hurt you. To kill you…I'm so sorry."

Chell was silent for a second, then her usually unused voice spoke into two words that would seal it all. "I forgive you…"

GLaDOS successfully performed the core transfer and stabilized the reactors while the two were making up. However, Karkat was unimpressed.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? YOU FUCKING HUGGED THE ASSHOLE WHO BETRAYED YOU, AND HE MAGICALLY RETURNS TO NORMAL?! FUCK LOGIC!" he growled. Terezi giggled and placed a hand on his back. "H3H3! 4W, COM3 ON K4RKL3S. YOU 4ND 1 BOTH KNOW TH4T YOU DO TH3 S4M3 3X4CT TH1NG WH3N 1 HUG YOU."

"HOW THE ACTUAL FU-" he wasn't able to finish his sentence when Terezi suddenly cuddled up to him. "GOG DAMMIT, TEREZI…" he mumbled as he kissed her lips.

"I have t0 say, Equius…y0u did a g00d j0b." Aradia gave the Sagittarius a grin, which got him to start sweating. Again. "D – Thank you, Aradia… anyone have any towels?"

The Gemini frowned at Eridan as he was twiddling his thumbs, waiting for something to be said.

Sollux hesitated, and then sighed. "Hey, fii2hbreath. Niice catch you did with the human, ED."

Eridan smiled. "Then does that mean you'll be my kismesis, Sol?"

"HELL NO."

"Come on, be my SOLmate!"

"Eriidan, ii 2wear to god…"

GLaDOS hopped back onto the chassis and plugged herself in. "I'm back where I am supposed to be, thanks to all of you. But I have one thing to ask… where did you all come from?"

"Alternia." They all said in unison.

"Oh, okay then. Well, I'm setting moron and lunatic free. You trolls may work as test subjects if you wish, but I'm guessing you want to go back to this 'Alternia' place."

"BeFoRe wE MoThErFuCkInG Go, ThErE's sOmEtHiNg i mUsT MoThErFuCkInG Do, GlAdOs." Gamzee mused, walking up to her.

"What is it, Makara?"

"YoU AnD I ArE BoTh mOtHeRfUcKiNg aLiKe. We cAn gO MoThErFuCkInG CrAzY UnLeSs wE'Re oN SoMeThInG."

"I think it's vice versa for me…"

Gamzee shook his head. "ThE PoInT Is, AfTeR I GoT To kNoW YoU A LiTtLe bEtTeR, i rEaLiZeD ThAt yOu aRe a mOtHeRfUcKiNg mIrAcLe."

GLaDOS blushed a little. "Wait, what?"

"GAMZEE, SHE'S PRACTICALLY A ROBOT, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? OKAY, LET'S GO. LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. WE STILL HAVE HUMANS TO TROLL."

"uH, YEAH. i HOPE THAT jADE IS DOING ALRIGHT."

"No8ody cares, toreadork!"

Because the author had no ideas on how to get the Trolls back to Alternia, she magically zapped them to their planet with unknown technology.

Wheatley took Chell's hand in his, and they took the elevator out of the facility together.


End file.
